Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. Selfless love is the key to a happy relationship. But if you can not love yourself and cannot make yourself happy then maybe you would not make the other person happy and would not love them that much. So, self-love is also very important. There is a fine line between self-love and self-obsession. If you don’t realise then in no time you will cross the line and become self-obsessed from self-aware. 

When there are two people in love in a relationship, they should be equally involved. There is a girl called Riya & a boy called Dev. They are of the same age 25. They work in the same field of IT. The same education, same family background and same social financial status. They are in a relationship for three years. When you meet them, you can easily guess how much they love each other. For their friends, they are the perfect couple. But when you go closer you will find a whole different story. 

 

Whatever they do together will be decided by Riya only. The place where they go, which food, what time and everything. She never bothers to ask Dev about his choice. Dev on the other hand always understands and never bothers about that. 

 

Riya is a person who is so much self-centred and self-obsessed. Dev is selfless and a giver. Dev loves Riya selflessly and Riya loves herself only. Dev loves Riya in every way, and Riya loves herself thinking she has all good qualities only. 

Here, we can differentiate between self-love and self-obsession. Riya was so much into herself that she never finds anything bad about herself or anything special about Dev. She only knows that Dev loves her because she is perfect. While the actual reality is Dev loves her for her good qualities & also accepted her flaws. And that is I think called true selfless love.  

 

Loving yourself is not at all bad, but loving yourself too intensely is not a good thing for self-growth and success. Self-obsessed people are so much in love with themselves that they are never able to love and respect others. For them they are everything & no one is better than them. 

 

Self-obsessed people never accept their flaws & if anyone points out them, instead of taking their feedback in a good way, they start pointing out other person’s flaws and start giving excuses about own self. By giving excuses to others, they are fooling themselves and compensating & sympathizing with themselves which leads to demotion. In another hand when you accept your flaws and try to understand what is good and bad in you, will lead you to great success.  

 

Self-acceptance generates empathy within a person, they understand the actual importance of care, love & respect. Hence, whenever they meet a person who needs empathy, love & care, they can easily relate to them and try to give them all with whole hearts.

 

Life is not always good for you. There are never such things as black & white. Self-obsessed people always judge everyone and put them in the boxes of right & wrong. People who support them are right and those who are against them are wrong. You cannot say someone is completely right or completely wrong, because sometimes there are some situations when things can’t be black or white, they can be different shades of grey.  

 

Self-obsession makes you more arrogant and egoistic. While self-love makes you a humbler, kind, polite and better person. It’s pretty apparent, self-love will teach you how to be a happy person, and self-obsession will teach you to be happy only with yourself.

 

So, Be free, be happy, and be independent in your thoughts. Take the gear of your life into your own hands. Feel good. Do give your feedback. What do you think? Share your views in the comments.